Okay, don't be drinking pop while you watch this, or you might have an unpleasant experience when you laugh so hard it comes out your nose.
Here is The Best Commercial Ever
p.s. For those of you enamored with the smooth stylings of Max Raabe (I know I am), check out Blue and We Are the Champions.
Monday, April 25, 2005
Sunday, April 24, 2005
Get your Britney fix - German style!
Okay, so I have a weakness for early Britney Spears. But truly, you have never really experienced the sheer wackiness that is "Oops, I Did it Again" until you have heard done as a German Cabaret song.
Here is Max Raabe and the Palast Orchester covering that classic of American pop:
Oops, I Did it Again
Turn up your speakers and enjoy!
Here is Max Raabe and the Palast Orchester covering that classic of American pop:
Oops, I Did it Again
Turn up your speakers and enjoy!
Another pope joke (c'mon, I can't resist)
Sally emailed this to me. I don't know where it come from, but it made me giggle:
Hans Groepje was raised in a Catholic school in The Hague, migrated to the US and, as a young man, aspired to become a priest, but was drafted into the Army during WWII and spent two years co-piloting B17s until his aircraft was shot down in 1943 and he lost his left arm. He was awarded the Silver Star.
Captain Groepje spent the rest of the war as a chaplain, giving spiritual aid to soldiers, both Allied and enemy. After the war, he became a priest, serving as a missionary in Africa, piloting his own plane (in spite of his handicap) to villages across the continent while establishing over 200 schools and churches.
In 1987, Father Groepje was elevated to Bishop while serving in Zimbabwe. Shortly afterward, an explosion in a silver mine caused a cave-in. He personally went down into the mine to administer last rites to those too severely injured to move. Another shaft collapsed, and he was buried for three days, suffering multiple injuries, including the loss of his right eye.
The high silver content in the mines air gave him purpura, a life-long condition characterized by purplish skin blotches.
He was elevated to Cardinal by Pope John Paul in 1992.
Although Cardinal Groepje has devoted his life to the service of God as a scholar, mentor, and holy man, church leaders agree: he will never ascend to the Papacy because of his unfortunate handicaps--
No one wants a one-eyed, one-armed, flying purple Papal leader.
Hans Groepje was raised in a Catholic school in The Hague, migrated to the US and, as a young man, aspired to become a priest, but was drafted into the Army during WWII and spent two years co-piloting B17s until his aircraft was shot down in 1943 and he lost his left arm. He was awarded the Silver Star.
Captain Groepje spent the rest of the war as a chaplain, giving spiritual aid to soldiers, both Allied and enemy. After the war, he became a priest, serving as a missionary in Africa, piloting his own plane (in spite of his handicap) to villages across the continent while establishing over 200 schools and churches.
In 1987, Father Groepje was elevated to Bishop while serving in Zimbabwe. Shortly afterward, an explosion in a silver mine caused a cave-in. He personally went down into the mine to administer last rites to those too severely injured to move. Another shaft collapsed, and he was buried for three days, suffering multiple injuries, including the loss of his right eye.
The high silver content in the mines air gave him purpura, a life-long condition characterized by purplish skin blotches.
He was elevated to Cardinal by Pope John Paul in 1992.
Although Cardinal Groepje has devoted his life to the service of God as a scholar, mentor, and holy man, church leaders agree: he will never ascend to the Papacy because of his unfortunate handicaps--
No one wants a one-eyed, one-armed, flying purple Papal leader.
Friday, April 22, 2005
Sin-binging
From The Onion:
Papal Election Brings End To Worldwide Unsupervised-Catholic Sin Binge
VATICAN CITY—In the interim between Pope John Paul II's death and the election of his replacement, unsupervised Catholics seized the opportunity to sin without fear of reprisal, sources confirmed Tuesday...
Papal Election Brings End To Worldwide Unsupervised-Catholic Sin Binge
VATICAN CITY—In the interim between Pope John Paul II's death and the election of his replacement, unsupervised Catholics seized the opportunity to sin without fear of reprisal, sources confirmed Tuesday...
Captain Passive-Aggressive and his Tractor of Vengeance
...or, as it is more commonly known, Kitchen Stories
Here is a slightly surreal Swedish film about Norwegian time and motion experts who are studying the kitchen habits of single Swedish men. Recipe for hilarity, eh? But wait, it gets better! We have a caravan of campers, imported Norwegian delicacies, pepper, a horse, a lifeguard chair, spyholes, and let's not forget Captain Passive-Aggressive and his tractor of VENGEANCE!
Not a movie I thought I would enjoy, but Liz and I went to see it last year and we are still talking about it and dissolving into fits of giggles whenever cetrain scenes are mentioned. Maybe you have to be in the right mood.
Anyways, go see it. Or rent it. Or buy it. I heartily endorse it, and so does Liz. Plus, the director's name is Bent Hamer - hee!
Here is a slightly surreal Swedish film about Norwegian time and motion experts who are studying the kitchen habits of single Swedish men. Recipe for hilarity, eh? But wait, it gets better! We have a caravan of campers, imported Norwegian delicacies, pepper, a horse, a lifeguard chair, spyholes, and let's not forget Captain Passive-Aggressive and his tractor of VENGEANCE!
Not a movie I thought I would enjoy, but Liz and I went to see it last year and we are still talking about it and dissolving into fits of giggles whenever cetrain scenes are mentioned. Maybe you have to be in the right mood.
Anyways, go see it. Or rent it. Or buy it. I heartily endorse it, and so does Liz. Plus, the director's name is Bent Hamer - hee!
Wednesday, April 20, 2005
Saturday, April 16, 2005
Monday, April 11, 2005
More bad bad things
In the spirit of the bad baby name site I just posted, let's look at what traditionally comes before procreation:
Welcome to the wonderful world of Ugly Wedding Dresses.
Welcome to the wonderful world of Ugly Wedding Dresses.
Need a laugh?
My friend Jen and I discovered Baby's named a bad,bad thing a while ago. I was on my computer at home reading it, she was on her computer, and we were on the phone with each other. At one point I was laughing so hard I forgot to breathe and started squeaking. Yes, this site is that funny!
Tuesday, April 05, 2005
More things on my fridge
I've scanned a few more things that I have pinned up on my fridge. It doesn't seem like too much when I look at it as a whole, but individually I have quite alot of stuff stuck up there. Maybe after this project is done, I shall start weeding stuff off my fridge.
This is a pad of paper with a magnet on the back. I use it to write my grocery list on. Since my list for this week is already in my pocket, you get to see a fresh page (and I get to hide the fact I buy alot of crap). I found this pad at a great store called "Paper on Pine"
These are a couple of magnets I found at a place called Blendo, again on Pine St. They're from an artist called Anne Taintor, and she has a whole bunch of stuff, most of which you can buy online.
Here is a postcard from my favourite dessert place. The lady who made the most amazing chocolate brioche bread pudding moved away (boo!), but they still have excellent desserts, and lovely tea and coffee.
This is a postcard from a French restaurant called the Blue Angel, which used to be right around the corner from where I worked. Sadly it is no more, and the space is now an Italian restaurant called Angelina. But I still have the cute poscard!
Another IKEA postcard. Ah, the powers of chocolate!
And here we have the Queen. This card has been causing double takes for years. Hee!
You too can hang out with the Queen.
Finally (for now) Greyhound's schedule for buses to New York. Just in case I feel like popping up there for a day.
This is a pad of paper with a magnet on the back. I use it to write my grocery list on. Since my list for this week is already in my pocket, you get to see a fresh page (and I get to hide the fact I buy alot of crap). I found this pad at a great store called "Paper on Pine"
These are a couple of magnets I found at a place called Blendo, again on Pine St. They're from an artist called Anne Taintor, and she has a whole bunch of stuff, most of which you can buy online.
Here is a postcard from my favourite dessert place. The lady who made the most amazing chocolate brioche bread pudding moved away (boo!), but they still have excellent desserts, and lovely tea and coffee.
This is a postcard from a French restaurant called the Blue Angel, which used to be right around the corner from where I worked. Sadly it is no more, and the space is now an Italian restaurant called Angelina. But I still have the cute poscard!
Another IKEA postcard. Ah, the powers of chocolate!
And here we have the Queen. This card has been causing double takes for years. Hee!
You too can hang out with the Queen.
Finally (for now) Greyhound's schedule for buses to New York. Just in case I feel like popping up there for a day.
The Classic Dilemma
YahoogleMonday, April 04, 2005
Things hanging on my fridge, part 1
I have a bunch of stuff hanging on my fridge that I've kept because I thought it was funny/pretty/meaningful/useful. In honour of me not having too much to say today, I will begin documenting what is tacked up there. We start with the following:
An Ikea coupon for last summer's sale that I got in the mail. One of the funniest print ad campaigns I've seen. Subtle, yet hilarious!
An Ikea coupon for last summer's sale that I got in the mail. One of the funniest print ad campaigns I've seen. Subtle, yet hilarious!
Thursday, March 31, 2005
Incivil Service
This list has been floating around the library for a while:
38 THINGS YOU'D LOVE TO SAY OUT LOUD AT WORK...
1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit.
2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
3. How about never? Is never good for you?
4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.
6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
7. I'm out of my mind, but please feel free to leave a message.
8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a damn word you're saying.
10. Ahhh... I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again.
11. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.
12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
13. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don't give a damn.
14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks?!?
20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of karma to burn off.
22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
23. And your crybaby, whiny-assed opinion would be?
24. Do I look like a people person?
25. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
26. I started out with nothing and still have most of it left.
27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
31. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
32. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
33. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?
34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
35. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
36. Chaos, panic, and disorder... my work here is done.
37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
38. I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted a salary.
38 THINGS YOU'D LOVE TO SAY OUT LOUD AT WORK...
1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit.
2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
3. How about never? Is never good for you?
4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.
6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
7. I'm out of my mind, but please feel free to leave a message.
8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a damn word you're saying.
10. Ahhh... I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again.
11. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.
12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
13. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don't give a damn.
14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks?!?
20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of karma to burn off.
22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
23. And your crybaby, whiny-assed opinion would be?
24. Do I look like a people person?
25. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
26. I started out with nothing and still have most of it left.
27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
31. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
32. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
33. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?
34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
35. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
36. Chaos, panic, and disorder... my work here is done.
37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
38. I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted a salary.
Wednesday, March 30, 2005
Horror help please!
I have a new project at work right now - I have to fill about three shelves in the horror section, as our collection is pretty woeful and I've been given some more space to play with it. Yay.
The problem is that I don't read horror. I actually actively avoid anything that might give me nightmares. So what I need is some suggestions of kick-ass horror books (paperback) that I can add to my list of books to buy. So if you have a favourite book or author (or a whole bunch of them) in the horror genre, please let me know and I'll see that if we don't already have them here, we will soon. Hopefully your astute suggestions will abet my bumbling around through amazon.com.
Thanks!
The problem is that I don't read horror. I actually actively avoid anything that might give me nightmares. So what I need is some suggestions of kick-ass horror books (paperback) that I can add to my list of books to buy. So if you have a favourite book or author (or a whole bunch of them) in the horror genre, please let me know and I'll see that if we don't already have them here, we will soon. Hopefully your astute suggestions will abet my bumbling around through amazon.com.
Thanks!
No! Please No!!
I just read a story that says that one of my least favourite Survivor contestants of all time might be in The Amazing Race next season. Please let it be false! I really don't want to see Rupert on my television screen EVER AGAIN!!
On a lighter note, my bus driver this morning on the way to work was not allowing anyone to pay. Free bus ride! Life is sweet!
On a lighter note, my bus driver this morning on the way to work was not allowing anyone to pay. Free bus ride! Life is sweet!
Sunday, March 27, 2005
Cultural high points of New York City
Way back in October, my friend Rita and her her husband met up with me for a couple of days in New York. Yes, we saw Central park, a Broadway show, some really huge cathedral, and other fun stuff, but really - how can you top this?
Saturday, March 26, 2005
Britney's book - Chapter one
I just started reading "A Mother's Gift" this morning and made it halfway through chapter 2. Wow, this book sucks. But maybe I'm being too judgemental. There are differing opinions - I, for one, quite like Barry Ballpoint's review on amazon.com:
Superlative, Erudite, Inspired, Quintessential Magnum Opus, October 11, 2001
Reviewer: Barry Ballpoint "captainreflection"
Who could have imagined that Britney Spears and her Mommy are in possession of literary skills comparable to William Faulkner, Virginia Woolf, James Joyce, John Dos Passos, and Marcel Proust combined? Flitting effortlessly from allegory worthy of Dante and Homer, to farce reminiscent of Waugh, Twain and Thurber, and back again to weltschmerz and pathos no worse than Gogol or Du Maurrier, this roller coaster ride visits the picaresque meadows, the sesquipedalian supermarket, the portmanteau prominade, and the Magister Ludi malt shop without ever stopping for fries and chili beans. For those uninitiated in the arcane, the oblique, or the obtuse, or have not spent time in French Sidewalk Cafes pretending they are speaking to Sartre' while he was scribbling notes for "Being and Nothingness" with one hand, and slurping expresso with the other, I have a suggestion. I would respectfully suggest you work your way up to this Sacred Level of Mount Literati, and the Polymaths who await you there, crosslegged, like Tibetan Monks, mentally x-raying your brainal jello-loaf, divining your comprehension, probing ..... *whew*, where was I?...and read "Why I Wish I Had a Pony" by Christina Aguilara first. I believe this work will prepare you for the larger project ahead courtesy of the Spears Roebuck Authorial team. Don't forget to pack at least 3 boxes of Kleenex (preferrably with that new vaseline coating so you don't chap up from all the blubbering), and keep some sort of dog or cat nearby in case you need to pet something furry in mid-read. There seems to be no question now that Britney and her Mommy have displaced Jewel as the greatest writer of her generation.
Superlative, Erudite, Inspired, Quintessential Magnum Opus, October 11, 2001
Reviewer: Barry Ballpoint "captainreflection"
Who could have imagined that Britney Spears and her Mommy are in possession of literary skills comparable to William Faulkner, Virginia Woolf, James Joyce, John Dos Passos, and Marcel Proust combined? Flitting effortlessly from allegory worthy of Dante and Homer, to farce reminiscent of Waugh, Twain and Thurber, and back again to weltschmerz and pathos no worse than Gogol or Du Maurrier, this roller coaster ride visits the picaresque meadows, the sesquipedalian supermarket, the portmanteau prominade, and the Magister Ludi malt shop without ever stopping for fries and chili beans. For those uninitiated in the arcane, the oblique, or the obtuse, or have not spent time in French Sidewalk Cafes pretending they are speaking to Sartre' while he was scribbling notes for "Being and Nothingness" with one hand, and slurping expresso with the other, I have a suggestion. I would respectfully suggest you work your way up to this Sacred Level of Mount Literati, and the Polymaths who await you there, crosslegged, like Tibetan Monks, mentally x-raying your brainal jello-loaf, divining your comprehension, probing ..... *whew*, where was I?...and read "Why I Wish I Had a Pony" by Christina Aguilara first. I believe this work will prepare you for the larger project ahead courtesy of the Spears Roebuck Authorial team. Don't forget to pack at least 3 boxes of Kleenex (preferrably with that new vaseline coating so you don't chap up from all the blubbering), and keep some sort of dog or cat nearby in case you need to pet something furry in mid-read. There seems to be no question now that Britney and her Mommy have displaced Jewel as the greatest writer of her generation.
Funny, funny play!
Thanks the the lovely people at Philly Fun Guide, I got half-price tickets to The Big Bang, one of the best theatre experiences I've had so far this year.
The complete history of the world in 80 minutes (with canapes), the musical had me in tears I was laughing so hard. And I'll never look at a potato the same way again.
If you get a chance, go see it for yourself!
The complete history of the world in 80 minutes (with canapes), the musical had me in tears I was laughing so hard. And I'll never look at a potato the same way again.
If you get a chance, go see it for yourself!
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