After a long silence

It's been over a week and I've been lazy...I mean really really busy. So it's been a while since I've gotten on the computer. Plus, with the godawful heat in Phiily, I've been leaving my home computer turned off most of the time. If you're waiting for me to send you pictures, hang tight - I will be doing so soon(probably over the weekend, but I can't say for sure, I might again be lazy...I mean really really busy).

In the meanwhile, enjoy this series of photos that was emailed to me by a colleague:

Around the World in Seven Pictures

Only in China


Only in Hawaii


Only in India


Only in Mexico


Only in Texas


Only in Thailand


And finally...


Only in America

Reference Desk Fun

Today a patron came up to the desk with a memoir of a girl during the holocaust and asked if the book was short stories or a novel. I looked at the book and told her it was a memoir, neither a short stories nor a novel.
She said - but there are short sections in the book.
I said - Yes, it looks like it there are short essays or vignettes about her life during the holocaust in this book
- But are they short stories?
- No, short stories are fiction and this is non-fiction
- Short stories are sometimes non-fiction
- Actually, short stories are by definition fiction
- I don't agree with you, are these short stories?
- No, it is a memoir, which is written in chapter length vignettes
- Short stories can be non-fiction, you're wrong
- No, short stories are fiction. Essays and such can be non-fiction
- I don't agree, you're wrong (sneer)
- Okay, well at the library we do not classify short stories as non-fiction. If it is a short story, we put it in the short story fiction section.
- You're wrong, short stories can be either fiction or non-fiction

What can you do? I gave her a shrug and a smile and sent her on her way with her book.

30 minutes later the patron came back asking where she could get a definition of a short story. I pull up definitions for her, read them all out, and she says, "so the word fiction is in all the definitions?"
- Yes, it is.
- Oh.

iPod - the next generation

Wow, after the breathtaking step backwards that was the iPod Shuffle, what will they think of next?

How about the iPod Flea?

The secret life of librarians

Harry Potter, ad infinitum

Well, the new Harry Potter book was released this weekend. I haven't read it yet (my copy is on hold at the library) but supposedly someone dies in it.

In honour of this, Guardian Unlimited randomly picked Dumbledore as the victim du jour and ran a contest to write Dumbledore's death scene in the style of various authors.

The contest is closed now, but the winner and a selection of the best entries are available online. Check them out and get your Harry Potter fix!

In sickness and in health...

According to the doctor, I do not have T.B.!

The joys of Philly - crazy evangelicals, people spitting on the sidewalk, and exposure to tuberculosis.

Remind me again why I live here?

Oh yeah, because of people like this:

Meet my fruit girls - Tracy and Cindy - who run my local fruit salad truck. They are my saving grace from spring to fall, pretty much my sole means of getting my daily fruit intake. If you haven't seen what they serve, take a look at my earlier post here

I love my Tivo...

...and so does Opus.

How much of a Hamlet are you?

Check out this quiz and find out how much of a Hamlet you are (or are you a Fortinbras?)

After that, if you haven't already discovered the joys of Jasper Fforde's books, head off to a library and pick up "The Eyre Affair" and get hooked on a great series for the summer!

Contagious

You know how seeing someone else yawn will make you yawn as well?

Let's see if it works via the internet!

Check out Emilie's Don't Yawn Game

Brief Encounters

Dialogue on the way to work this morning on the bus between me and a guy in a white suit, candycane striped red and white shirt, and a polkadot bowtie, who was sitting behind me:

Him: What time is it?
Me: 9:35
Him: Is it too late?
Me: Too late for what?
Him: Too late to depend on god?
Me: ... [crickets chirping]

And then I slowly turned away and wished I had a book to read or music to listen to. Thankfully he got off soon afterwards.

Sigh.

Happy Canada Day

It's that time of year again, when I bring my mini Canadian flag to work and wave it about the office. Thanks to Liz who called me at 7:49 this morning to remind me of the holiday!

I've been away for the past little while, attending the ALA Annual Conference in Chicago. What a nice city (and I discovered Marshall's)

Highlights:

- being bumped off the flight to Chicago and getting a free roundtrip ticket for anywhere in the US and Canada - which somewhat alleviates the torture of being trapped on a plane sitting on the tarmac with no air-conditioning for two and a half hours on the trip back

- speaking to a very full, very big room about Generation X management styles, in the process freaking myself out because I do fit pretty much every stereotype of the group

- Seeing an omnimax film at the Museum of Science and Industry that was, I think, supposed to be about the human body and how it works and ended up being a very long pro-life commercial. I really don't need to see a Stepford wife lying on a couch caressing here barely-there bulge with a wistful smile on her face in full IMAX glory. The images of the inside of a person's stomach were cool, though.

- getting a Jane Austen bobblehead doll, an unabridged Laurell Hamilton novel on mp3 (and chatting with her husband), various other exhibit freebies, and so many free books that I had to ship them back to myself

- Wandering through the Field Museum and sneaking into exhibits that were closed (in our defense, we were not the only ones doing it), then topping the evening off with make-your-own ice cream sundaes

-watching Karen go crazy over the pressed penny machines - it's good she has a cheap obsession

- Riding the ferris wheel at Navy Pier and taking the river cruise architectural tour

Last but not least: 4 girls, 1 tiny hotel room, 1 even tinier bathroom, NO BLOODSHED!!

Chicago!

Conference time - I'm in Chicago with very little sleep and I keep forgetting to eat, there's so much stuff to do. I'm just about to go off and collect some more free stuff from exhibitors and then sit at a recruitment table and tell people how much they want to work for my library system. Then off to two party/receptions tonight.

Having a blast, wish you were here :)

Hiding in plain site

Sometimes the world can just get to you. It's nice to be able to lock yourself in your room and not come out for a while. Now you don't have to have a room to go to, you can bring your room with you. When you need a break from the hustle and bustle of everyday life, just disappear completely in your own little box.

Geeky fan moment

Bruce Campbell was at the library tonight. I was working, so I didn't get a chance to actually hear him talk, but I did snap a really crappy shot of him signing books on my way back from the washroom. There were about 400 people waiting for an autograph, so I couldn't get too close. Bruce is the splotch in dark blue posing with some other fans for someone else with a camera.

Shopping!

This has been a shopping weekend. First off I went to Franklin Mills with Liz and Sally on Saturday. We'd been joking that it was good thing that the stores were open 'til 9:30, but we never expected to stay that long. Well, I got home a bit before 11 pm. What a great mall. I believe that it is my favourite mall in the States so far. Lots of store, many of them outlets so they are really cheap. Plus they have a nice H&M, which is great - the one in Center City seems to specialize exclusively in urban slutwear. The suburban ones have a lot of great career-type clothes. There was much shopping, along with a long overdue Orange Julius break. Liz has been craving Orange Julius for a month or so.

I have also decided that the fact that I work late on Mondays is a very dangerous thing. I walk to work through some prime shopping territory and I can't help but window shop, which invariably leads to actual shopping. Today I walked in to work with a cute pink halter top and an amazingly marked down linen dress. I also did some shopping for my sister, who puts in Bath and Body Works requests whenever I'm about to fly home.

Variations on a theme

So, earlier this week I posted a great avocado tzatziki recipe. I got a call from my friend Liz tonight. She didn't have all the ingredients for it, so made some modifications. I made her version for dinner, and it's very yummy as well.

What she did:

double recipe
Instead of all lemon juice, use 1/2 lemon juice, 1/2 lime juice
cut all spices except salt and garlic (I still didn't put any salt in)
add 1 tsp curry powder (we both used madras curry powder)
She also used yoghurt instead of sour cream, like I did.

It's very good - I actually made 1/2 of her recipe as I only had one avocado left. The original recipe says it serves 8. Ha! It serves 3 at the most the way I eat it.

Okay, enough about food. Tomorrow I'm going to Franklin Mills, evidently the mecca of outlet shopping in Philadelphia. Everyone I talk to seems aghast that I've been in the city so long and haven't made it up there yet. Apparently it's like coming to Philly and not eating a cheesesteak.

Recipe sharing time

You know, I try not to be that person who sees a deal in the grocery store and buys whatever it is even though they have no idea what to do with it, but a week or so ago I was in Trader Joe's and found 4 avocados for really cheap. I usually never eat avocados at home. The only recipe I know that uses them is guacamole. But oh, how I craved those avocados. So of course I bought them, and they have been sitting in my fridge since then waiting for me to figure out what to do with them.

Well, yesterday I found a recipe for avocado tzatziki on allrecipes.com. I love tzatziki - the cucumber, the garlic (oh, the garlic) - yum! So I decided to try it and it was wonderful. Sally (who very kindly gave me fresh mint when I couldn't find it at three different grocery stores) came over and really liked it too.

Here it is (I used fat-free yoghurt instead of sour cream and didn't add any salt):

AVOCADO TZATZIKI

INGREDIENTS:

1 large avocado, peeled and pitted
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 lemons, juiced
1/4 cup sour cream (optional)
1/2 cup chopped seeded cucumber
1/2 teaspoon red pepper flakes, or to taste
1 tablespoon chopped fresh cilantro
1 tablespoon chopped fresh mint
salt and pepper to taste

DIRECTIONS:
In a medium bowl, combine the avocado, garlic, lemon juice, sour cream and cucumber. Mash with a fork until smooth. If your avocado is not quite ripe enough, you may wish to use a food processor. Season with red pepper flakes, cilantro, mint, salt and pepper, and mix well. Cover and refrigerate for 1 hour before serving.

The best t-shirt in the world!

I'm a devoted reader. Have been all my life. But until now I just couldn't find the right piece of apparel to announce to the world exactly how reading has informed my development and made me the woman I am today.

Now that all changes.

Introducing my new t-shirt: succinct, pithy, captures the essence of who I am, and most important - damn cute!



I'm so wearing this to work tomorrow!

I don't even like Star Wars that much, but...

How funny is this?


(no Jen, it's not an olive)

Science for your kitchen

Here's a handy guide for you, a periodic table of condiments.

Helpful and funny!

This is scary funny

Some guy decided to see if people actually check the signatures on the back of credit cards. Suprisingly (or not) many don't. What's really crazy about his whole project is how far from a signiture he was able to write on the receipt and still get away with it.

Check it out

Much better than writing your name on your food!

Ben and Jerry's has come out with a nifty new device called the Pint-Lock that with keep marauding midnight snackers (or dads with the munchies) out of your precious ice cream.

Foucault in haiku

In university I had a class in postmodern theory, and I came to the conclusion that many of these authors use really big words for no other reason than to a) show off how smart they are and how clever they are to have figured out how to use a thesaurus and b) make sure only other really smart people like themselves can understand their work. Of course, I tend to use a word other than smart to describe such people.

One of the new books that just came in to the library is Haiku U, a collection of 100 great books in haiku form. I was reading it and ran across a haiku of Michel Foucault's Discipline and Punish, one of the texts we looked at in this class.

Here, in 17 syllables, courtesy of David M. Bader, is Foucault's Discipline and Punish:

Carceral discourse,

polyvalently deployed.

Hot air gently blows.

I knew this show was familiar...

More Lost goodness. Today Chris Rywelt uncovers the true meaning of Lost.

Someone is channeling me...

This was published today at Overdue Media.

"Lost" in a nutshell

I started watching Lost this season and really enjoyed it for the first little bit, then somewhere around the middle of the season I got bored with it. I didn't stop watching, but I wasn't as enthusiastic about it as I once was. I just finished watching the three episodes leading up to the finale (which is sitting on my Tivo, but I haven't seen it yet, so don't say anything!).

Anyway,I was going to rant a bit about the show, but Chris Rywelt at Teevee.org did it so well that I'm going to just point you in his direction.

Check out Lost on Lost.

Romance Novel Covers Redux

Way back in February I posted about a site that played around with romance covers. The site has now updated with a whole new batch of hilarious reader submitted takes on the traditional cover clinch.

Poetry appreciaton

I'm in the middle of weeding the Teen collection at the library, and I ran across a little book of poetry called "God Went To Beauty School."



God goes to beauty school, orders a couch from Pottery Barn, gets a dog, watches a movie, writes a fan letter - it's deceptively simple poetry. Even though it's from a mainly Christian perspective it really made me think (and smile).

It takes about ten minutes to read, so if you need a quick read, check out your library to see if they have it.

Chicago crime - mapped!

A bunch of us are off to Chcaco next month for a conference, and now we will know exactly what's going on crime-wise in the city. Some helpful people at chicagocrime.org have linked crime reports to Google Maps, so now we can see exactly what is happening where - always good to know what areas to avoid.

My new favourite snack food

Shara sent me an article about the chili mango, a beautiful, tasty, sweet and hot mango on a stick (if it's on a stick, I am predisposed to adoring it). A guy in the Italian Market sells them for a piddly $1.50 each, and I had my first one last Friday. I'm hooked!

More uses for a robot vacuum cleaner

I have a Roomba and use it for light cleaning. Some people use it for more exciting things, like child herding.

Amazing Race Goodness! (Jen, don't read this 'til you've caught up!)

Yay Joyce and Uchenna!



My nail polish is gone from the anxiety of the last half hour of the race.

The Amazing Race is the one reality show I'm not ashamed to say I love.

Mother's Day article I can relate to.

Posted on Sun, May. 08, 2005 in the Philadelphia Inquirer

Assumptions might be wrong about those without children
By Tanya Barrientos
Inquirer Staff Writer

Most Sundays I eat breakfast out. But not today.

This morning I am housebound, like Martha Stewart, because cafes are not kind to the childless on Mother's Day.

I can't tell you how many times I've stood before a sweetly smiling hostess who is just about to hand me a long-stemmed rose, a fluffy orchid, or a free mimosa until she realizes that I am nobody's mom.

Then her smile sags. The rose recedes. The free drink? Forget about it.

On this particular Sunday you have to have parented to buy a poached egg.

People make all sorts of assumptions when you are married without children.

They think something has gone terribly wrong.

They think you are sad.

They think you hate children.

Once, a friend showed me a picture of an adorable baby in a magazine and I joined her in cooing, "He's so cuuuute."

She eyed me incredulously.

"You're just saying that, right?" she asked. "You don't really mean it."

So, for the record, let me state that I am physically fine. I am as happy as a middle-aged woman can be. And, as long as they're not vomiting, bleeding, or having a five-alarm meltdown, I like kids.

I just don't want any.

It's something I've known since I was 8, the same way some people know they'll grow up to be a doctor, or an actress, or a concert pianist.

As a girl I was never charmed by baby dolls, or baby-sitting, or baby clothes. I liked puppies.

As a grown-up, I was a birth coach for a friend, and during the delivery another woman in the room burst into tears the instant the little girl was born.

"Doesn't it make you want one?" she sobbed.

I looked at my friend lying on the hospital bed completely spent. I saw how her lifelong responsibilities had suddenly doubled. I smiled at the tiny person nestled in her arms and honestly answered: "No."

People used to tell me I would change my mind. Even the man I married.

He was reluctant to propose because he was certain he didn't want kids, and he was just as certain I would have a change of heart. We took the plunge, and I waited for the flip. Through my 20s, and 30s. But my biological clock was stuck on snooze.

Don't get me wrong. I admire mothers.

I marvel at the insane hours they keep. I respect their instinctual sense of sacrifice. My own mother is one of the most remarkable women I know.

I have simply never figured out a way to live the sort of life I want while directing the lives of others.

"Well," a young woman told me recently, "I guess it's good that you realized you're selfish."

Ouch.

Of course, she could be right. I don't care for the word selfish, but I'd like to think I'm self-aware.

These days, when people ask, I simply say I never had children. That allows them to make whatever assumptions they want. And I can handle that.

But not before breakfast.

The movie I'm really anticipating...

...is Serenity, the big-screen version of Joss Whedon's Firefly.



I loved the series (maybe even more than Buffy). For a taste of what's to come, check out the trailer

My problem with the new Star Wars movies in a nutshell

I am defeated

Yes, my reign as the queen of trivial pursuit has been ended. Last night Jen and I played the millennial edition of the game, and I was soundly beaten. I started out well, with two pies to her none, but inexorably she caught up and surpassed me, gaining the elusive green pie early in the game. Her superior gameboard geography strategy (and, I have to say, a relatively easy multiple choice final question) won the day for her. It was a well-matched and fairly played game, and I applaud her win. Congratulations Jen!

Subtle (or not) ad humour

This is a real (I think) ad for Manix, a KY Jelly equivalent.




If you haven't already fallen on the floor laughing, just look at the picture for a bit. It helps to know what KY Jelly is for...

How many times can I make fun of the pope? Let me count the ways...

Courtesy of Sally:

Eggs Benedict!

More hilarity

Okay, don't be drinking pop while you watch this, or you might have an unpleasant experience when you laugh so hard it comes out your nose.

Here is The Best Commercial Ever

p.s. For those of you enamored with the smooth stylings of Max Raabe (I know I am), check out Blue and We Are the Champions.

Get your Britney fix - German style!

Okay, so I have a weakness for early Britney Spears. But truly, you have never really experienced the sheer wackiness that is "Oops, I Did it Again" until you have heard done as a German Cabaret song.



Here is Max Raabe and the Palast Orchester covering that classic of American pop:

Oops, I Did it Again

Turn up your speakers and enjoy!

Another pope joke (c'mon, I can't resist)

Sally emailed this to me. I don't know where it come from, but it made me giggle:

Hans Groepje was raised in a Catholic school in The Hague, migrated to the US and, as a young man, aspired to become a priest, but was drafted into the Army during WWII and spent two years co-piloting B17s until his aircraft was shot down in 1943 and he lost his left arm. He was awarded the Silver Star.

Captain Groepje spent the rest of the war as a chaplain, giving spiritual aid to soldiers, both Allied and enemy. After the war, he became a priest, serving as a missionary in Africa, piloting his own plane (in spite of his handicap) to villages across the continent while establishing over 200 schools and churches.

In 1987, Father Groepje was elevated to Bishop while serving in Zimbabwe. Shortly afterward, an explosion in a silver mine caused a cave-in. He personally went down into the mine to administer last rites to those too severely injured to move. Another shaft collapsed, and he was buried for three days, suffering multiple injuries, including the loss of his right eye.

The high silver content in the mines air gave him purpura, a life-long condition characterized by purplish skin blotches.

He was elevated to Cardinal by Pope John Paul in 1992.

Although Cardinal Groepje has devoted his life to the service of God as a scholar, mentor, and holy man, church leaders agree: he will never ascend to the Papacy because of his unfortunate handicaps--


No one wants a one-eyed, one-armed, flying purple Papal leader.

Sin-binging

From The Onion:

Papal Election Brings End To Worldwide Unsupervised-Catholic Sin Binge
VATICAN CITY—In the interim between Pope John Paul II's death and the election of his replacement, unsupervised Catholics seized the opportunity to sin without fear of reprisal, sources confirmed Tuesday...

Captain Passive-Aggressive and his Tractor of Vengeance

...or, as it is more commonly known, Kitchen Stories



Here is a slightly surreal Swedish film about Norwegian time and motion experts who are studying the kitchen habits of single Swedish men. Recipe for hilarity, eh? But wait, it gets better! We have a caravan of campers, imported Norwegian delicacies, pepper, a horse, a lifeguard chair, spyholes, and let's not forget Captain Passive-Aggressive and his tractor of VENGEANCE!

Not a movie I thought I would enjoy, but Liz and I went to see it last year and we are still talking about it and dissolving into fits of giggles whenever cetrain scenes are mentioned. Maybe you have to be in the right mood.

Anyways, go see it. Or rent it. Or buy it. I heartily endorse it, and so does Liz. Plus, the director's name is Bent Hamer - hee!

Be afraid, be very afraid...

...of Canada!

Life imitating art, or is it the other way around?

Yet another comic that speaks to me:

More bad bad things

In the spirit of the bad baby name site I just posted, let's look at what traditionally comes before procreation:

Welcome to the wonderful world of Ugly Wedding Dresses.

Need a laugh?

My friend Jen and I discovered Baby's named a bad,bad thing a while ago. I was on my computer at home reading it, she was on her computer, and we were on the phone with each other. At one point I was laughing so hard I forgot to breathe and started squeaking. Yes, this site is that funny!

More things on my fridge

I've scanned a few more things that I have pinned up on my fridge. It doesn't seem like too much when I look at it as a whole, but individually I have quite alot of stuff stuck up there. Maybe after this project is done, I shall start weeding stuff off my fridge.



This is a pad of paper with a magnet on the back. I use it to write my grocery list on. Since my list for this week is already in my pocket, you get to see a fresh page (and I get to hide the fact I buy alot of crap). I found this pad at a great store called "Paper on Pine"



These are a couple of magnets I found at a place called Blendo, again on Pine St. They're from an artist called Anne Taintor, and she has a whole bunch of stuff, most of which you can buy online.



Here is a postcard from my favourite dessert place. The lady who made the most amazing chocolate brioche bread pudding moved away (boo!), but they still have excellent desserts, and lovely tea and coffee.



This is a postcard from a French restaurant called the Blue Angel, which used to be right around the corner from where I worked. Sadly it is no more, and the space is now an Italian restaurant called Angelina. But I still have the cute poscard!



Another IKEA postcard. Ah, the powers of chocolate!



And here we have the Queen. This card has been causing double takes for years. Hee!
You too can hang out with the Queen.



Finally (for now) Greyhound's schedule for buses to New York. Just in case I feel like popping up there for a day.

The Classic Dilemma

Hmmm. Do I use Google? Should I use Yahoo? Oh, I know. I'll use:

Yahoogle!

For the person who can't decide which search engine to use.

Sometimes, my life is a comic strip

Things hanging on my fridge, part 1

I have a bunch of stuff hanging on my fridge that I've kept because I thought it was funny/pretty/meaningful/useful. In honour of me not having too much to say today, I will begin documenting what is tacked up there. We start with the following:


An Ikea coupon for last summer's sale that I got in the mail. One of the funniest print ad campaigns I've seen. Subtle, yet hilarious!

Incivil Service

This list has been floating around the library for a while:

38 THINGS YOU'D LOVE TO SAY OUT LOUD AT WORK...

1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit.
2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
3. How about never? Is never good for you?
4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.
6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
7. I'm out of my mind, but please feel free to leave a message.
8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a damn word you're saying.
10. Ahhh... I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again.
11. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.
12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
13. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don't give a damn.
14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks?!?
20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of karma to burn off.
22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
23. And your crybaby, whiny-assed opinion would be?
24. Do I look like a people person?
25. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
26. I started out with nothing and still have most of it left.
27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
31. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
32. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
33. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?
34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
35. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
36. Chaos, panic, and disorder... my work here is done.
37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
38. I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted a salary.

Horror help please!

I have a new project at work right now - I have to fill about three shelves in the horror section, as our collection is pretty woeful and I've been given some more space to play with it. Yay.

The problem is that I don't read horror. I actually actively avoid anything that might give me nightmares. So what I need is some suggestions of kick-ass horror books (paperback) that I can add to my list of books to buy. So if you have a favourite book or author (or a whole bunch of them) in the horror genre, please let me know and I'll see that if we don't already have them here, we will soon. Hopefully your astute suggestions will abet my bumbling around through amazon.com.


Thanks!

No! Please No!!

I just read a story that says that one of my least favourite Survivor contestants of all time might be in The Amazing Race next season. Please let it be false! I really don't want to see Rupert on my television screen EVER AGAIN!!

On a lighter note, my bus driver this morning on the way to work was not allowing anyone to pay. Free bus ride! Life is sweet!

Cultural high points of New York City

Way back in October, my friend Rita and her her husband met up with me for a couple of days in New York. Yes, we saw Central park, a Broadway show, some really huge cathedral, and other fun stuff, but really - how can you top this?

Britney's book - Chapter one

I just started reading "A Mother's Gift" this morning and made it halfway through chapter 2. Wow, this book sucks. But maybe I'm being too judgemental. There are differing opinions - I, for one, quite like Barry Ballpoint's review on amazon.com:

Superlative, Erudite, Inspired, Quintessential Magnum Opus, October 11, 2001
Reviewer: Barry Ballpoint "captainreflection"
Who could have imagined that Britney Spears and her Mommy are in possession of literary skills comparable to William Faulkner, Virginia Woolf, James Joyce, John Dos Passos, and Marcel Proust combined? Flitting effortlessly from allegory worthy of Dante and Homer, to farce reminiscent of Waugh, Twain and Thurber, and back again to weltschmerz and pathos no worse than Gogol or Du Maurrier, this roller coaster ride visits the picaresque meadows, the sesquipedalian supermarket, the portmanteau prominade, and the Magister Ludi malt shop without ever stopping for fries and chili beans. For those uninitiated in the arcane, the oblique, or the obtuse, or have not spent time in French Sidewalk Cafes pretending they are speaking to Sartre' while he was scribbling notes for "Being and Nothingness" with one hand, and slurping expresso with the other, I have a suggestion. I would respectfully suggest you work your way up to this Sacred Level of Mount Literati, and the Polymaths who await you there, crosslegged, like Tibetan Monks, mentally x-raying your brainal jello-loaf, divining your comprehension, probing ..... *whew*, where was I?...and read "Why I Wish I Had a Pony" by Christina Aguilara first. I believe this work will prepare you for the larger project ahead courtesy of the Spears Roebuck Authorial team. Don't forget to pack at least 3 boxes of Kleenex (preferrably with that new vaseline coating so you don't chap up from all the blubbering), and keep some sort of dog or cat nearby in case you need to pet something furry in mid-read. There seems to be no question now that Britney and her Mommy have displaced Jewel as the greatest writer of her generation.

Funny, funny play!

Thanks the the lovely people at Philly Fun Guide, I got half-price tickets to The Big Bang, one of the best theatre experiences I've had so far this year.



The complete history of the world in 80 minutes (with canapes), the musical had me in tears I was laughing so hard. And I'll never look at a potato the same way again.

If you get a chance, go see it for yourself!

Clocky

I've gotten to the point that I don't even hear my first alarm go off, and then I hit snooze on my second alarm about 3 or 4 times. I bet Clocky would wake me up (well, until I threw it out of the window in frustration).

Cute Books

As part of my job (really, they pay me to do this) I get to read and review new teen books. This week I've read Sarah Mlynowski's "Bras and Broomsticks," which is really cute. It's light and fluffy and a ton of fun to read. And it has a witch! I'm a sucker for stories with magic.



I'm also in the middle of reading "Who's Your Daddy," by Lynda Sandoval. I'm only about 1/3 of the way through, but I'm really enjoying it.



Finally, sitting on my "to be read" shelf is "A Mother's Gift," by Britney and Lynne Spears. I have no desire to read this book. I'm hoping it magically disappears before I have to get to it. None of the teens I've tried to foist it of on want to read it either. Guess Britney isn't that big anymore!

More Gates Pictures

Here are Jen's pics of our New York trip, including a brief stop in Strawberry Fields to see the John Lennon memorial. For some strange reason I actually turned out photogenic in a lot of these pictures. This is a very rare occurance, so enjoy it while you can!

Ultimate Cheese

Since one of the the arduous tasks I have at work is reading the "Romantic Times" magazine (for the book reviews, people!), I have been seeing ads for the tv show "Mr. Romance. Hosted by Fabio, it is a reality show/beauty contest for half naked guys, with the prize being a cover model contract with Harlequin.

It's on the Oxygen channel, so if you're looking for some scantily clad men on tv for a change, this might be the show for you. You know I'm watching it!

One caveat: one of the guys reminds me of Jonathan from "The Amazing Race 6" so I hate him already!

It's Spring!

Yes it is, and you want to kow why? Not because the weather is lovely, but because the fruit carts are beginning to reappear on the streets of Philadelphia.

Fruit carts are one of the more wonderful things in this city. We have Chinese food carts, hot dog carts, falafel carts, and cheesesteak carts, of course. But we also have fresh fruit carts. For $2 - $3.50 you get fresh cantaloupe, honeydew, strawberries, pineapple, and mango - along with a banana for dessert. Imagine, one of the fattest cities in the country, and yet you can get this on pretty much any corner in Center City.

I had my first fruit salad of the season today for lunch, which I have documented below. Hello, spring!

A whole new me!

I just got my new business cards. I am now a "librarian/genre specialist." I love inventing new titles for myself, and it's even better when I can get the powers-that-be to go along with them!

You Can't Do That on Television!

Remember this? Take a look here to see the opening of this seminal Canadian show.



Also, ever since discovering Retrojunk, I've had the theme song to the Inspector Gadget cartoon going through my head. Argh. Get it out!

Product Plug

I discovered Organic Valley Chocolate Milk about a year ago. This is the best chocolate milk in the world.
Tastes like fudgesicles. Yum. Highly addictive. If you can get it, buy it!

Ha!

Older Siblings Smarter, Norwegian Study Shows

OSLO (Reuters) - First born children in Norway get better education and as adults are more successful in the job market than younger siblings, a Norwegian-U.S. study showed.

"It is the birth order and not necessarily the size of the family that is important," said economics professor Kjell Salvanes of the Norwegian School of Economics and Business Administration. "It is better if you are the first born." Salvanes and two colleagues from the University of California, Los Angeles (UCLA) based their study on census data of Norwegians born between 1912 and 1975.

The findings will be published in the Quarterly Journal of Economics, a Harvard publication, in May.

They found that younger siblings tend to get less schooling than their elders and then end up with lower pay on average and were more likely to be in part-time work, Salvanes said. The findings were likely to hold true in other countries, he said.

"In terms of educational attainment, if you are the fourth born instead of the first, you get almost one year less education, and that is quite a lot," Salvanes told Reuters.

And first-born children tend to weigh more at birth than their younger brothers and sisters, which is a good predictor for educational success, Salvanes said.

Children alone with two adults also tend to get more intellectual stimulation than children in large families who get less parental attention, he said.

First-born children seem to learn from teaching their younger siblings, contrary to the common notion that younger children benefit by learning from their elders, Salvanes said.

So does that mean big sisters really are smarter?

"Yes. It's hard to admit because I have older sisters," Salvanes said.

Sometimes you just hate a book...

I picked up Total Surrender by Cheryl Holt because I was intrigued by the plot description, and the fact that I enjoyed the basic plot of the story kept me reading even though I was tempted to hurl the book away from me in disgust by the writing style many times.



Two major issues marred the book for me: Firstly, it seems like Cheryl Holt sat down to write this book with her trusty thesaurus next to her so she could look up the longest words possible for every adjective and adverb and to make sure she never used the same word twice. Unfortunately, if that was not bad enough, I don't think some of the words she chose mean what she thinks they mean. I'm pretty sure a phallus does not "dilate" even harder, in the context she was using the word. And "enervate" is not the same as "excite." The floridity of the prose - the choice of words meant to impress with length and quantity, if not meaning or appropriateness - made reading this book painful. I felt that I should have had a red pen and edited as I went.

Secondly, I was shocked at the sex scenes. No, not because they were there and graphic - I love erotica. I was shocked at the contempt the author seemed to feel for physical expressions of sexuality. She peppers her descriptions with words such as "degrading" and "aberrant" and "sin". Almost every encounter, be it between the hero and heroine or observed actions of other characters, seems to be portrayed at some point in a negative light. I was left with the feeling that Cheryl Holt doesn't really like sex at all, or at least has a massive guilt complex about it. When I pick up a sensual book I want there to be some joy in the telling. This left me cold.

Gadgets, part deux

Dateline: Canada

While I am stuck in the house waiting for all my clothes to go through the wash (I did a terrible packing job, resulting in my running out of socks, pants, and tops), I will share with you funny stuff about my favourite pet substitute: The Roomba



Sars, from Television Without Pity (best television website ever!) has written some truly hilarious stuff about our favourite vacuum bug. Part One: A Roomba of One's Own, Part Two: Viva La Roombalución!

Hiatus

Dena's Brain is going on a little hiatus. My grandfather just died, so I'm in Calgary right now for the funeral. I'll be back to being funny again when I'm back home. Have a good week, all.

Gadget girl shops again

Hi, your friendly neighborhood gadget girl here. Yesterday I bought a nifty gadget for my kitchen. It's called the Buttermate.

It stores a stick of butter and measures it out in teaspoon and tablespoon and sliver increments without me having to use a knife or touch the butter with my fingers. I tried it out and it works great - no more bits of butter in wax paper floating around my fridge anymore, just this handy gadget.

And even better, it was on sale! I was going to get it online, but then I saw that the cheapest online store was Fante's, which is actually only about a ten minute walk from where I live, so I wandered over to the Italian Market and picked it up for $5.50. A deal and exercise all in one shot.

World Book Day - UK Edition

It's World Book Day! But not throughout the whole world at all! Yes, UNESCO has declared April 23 World Book Day, but in the UK they just can't wait and are celebrating today

In honour of our overeager neighbors across the pond, here are my recommendations of books by UK authors. They're all great, so go out and read them.

The Eyre Affair, by Jasper Fforde
The first in the Thursday Next series. In an alternate 1985, Thursday must stop the third most evil man in the world from doing away with the hero of Jane Eyre. Dodos, cricket, time-travel, literary characters, and the Crimean War. Is it a mystery? A satire? Science fiction? Literate? Really, really funny? Yes!


The Wee Free Men, by Terry Pratchett
The first in a new series of books set in the Discworld. Aimed at young readers, this begins the adventures of Tiffany Aching - 9 years old and wielding a fearsome frying pan - and the Pictsies. Written (presumably) for children, but just as funny for adults.


Watermelon, by Marian Keyes
On the day Claire's baby is born, her husband leaves her for another woman. Suprisingly, this is a very funny romantic comedy. I'm sensing a trend here. I really like funny books.


The Golden Compass, by Philip Pullman
This book begins a trilogy that makes Harry Potter look like a pre-school bedtime story. Dark, imaginative, disturbing, and beautifully written.


Talking to Addison, by Jenny Colgan
Holly moves to a new flat and promptly develops a crush on her computer nerd roomate who never leaves his room. Ths book has the funniest hospital scene I've ever read.


I have tons more, but I have to save some for the actual worldwide World Book Day. Happy Reading!

Who needs a tropical beach...

...when you can get some colour from standing in front of the new Walt Disney Concert Hall. As reported in Boing Boing, Frank Gehry's building fries pedestrians, eggs with solar death ray. Also, yet another Gates reference.

Anatomy of a Phrase

Head on over to Mind Hacks: better to light a candle? for a lovely discourse on why precisely you shouldn't light a candle.